Citizen Mom

KALE TO THE NO: The smoothie scourge must be stopped #housewifeconfessional

Y'know, I'm all for trying to be healthy and I like convenience foods as much as the next guy, but I just need to get this off my chest:

NO, I do not want a fricking smoothie.

NO, I don't care if you can't really taste the spinach or kale or turnip greens or freeze-dried sea monkeys or whatever the hell you people are all putting in your blenders every morning. I just skeeve drinking yogurt, the same way I skeeve squeezing yogurt from a tube. Nobody can use a spoon anymore? 

And while we're at it, no, I don't believe you when you swear it really tastes great even though it looks like Nickelodeon slime! Like a cup full of health! And the antioxidants! MY GOD, THE ANTIOXIDANTS!

What happened to eating your calories, not drinking them -- orange juice is the devil but now we're all supposed to act like our jaws are wired shut and have no choice but to turn our produce into spackle in a glass?* I suppose dirtying a juicer/blender/extractor every morning is meant to free me from the drudgery of a bowl and spoon, but I'll pass. 

Of course, many of you are happily living in smoothie wonderland, and that's cool. Sally has some recipes over on Real Mom Nutrition, so check 'em out.This banana-date thingie looks good, but note the absence of yogurt and kale. 

* Yes, I understand the dietary difference between empty juice calories and the bountiful nutritional richness of that spinach-flax-mango-kale-peanut butter concoction, but it's my rant. 

 

Look, someone just tell me if it's OK to eat the waffle fries or not.

 

(image via @samplereality and @baznet  )

Hmmmmm.

Does "gay it up" mean go in and act dumb and reinforce a bunch of stereotypes? Or does "gay it up" mean non-ridiculous gay people going in with their kids and watching them climb all over the germ delivery apparatus, er, play equipment.

Isn't withholding your business from Chick-Fil-A the best way to show disapproval of their anti-gay corporate worldview? I'm struggling with this one, because those nuggets are so very delicious.

CHOP gets a Sugar Daddy

Sweet, sweet money: The Inquirer's Heard in the Hall blog reports this morning that a Big Beverage interest group is giving Children's Hospital of Philadelphia $10 million to fund (wait for it) "research into and prevention of childhood obesity."

The three-year grant is funded by a new organization, the Foundation for a Healthy America , created by the American Beverage Association, the national trade group representing manufacturers and bottlers. The ABA was instrumental in lobbying Philadelphia City Council to reject Nutter's proposal to tax sugary drinks at 2-cents per ounce as a way to cut consumption and raise money for the general fund.

In a press release Wednesday, CHOP insisted that it will "retain absolute clinical and research independence," as the source of its funding for the research is likely to come under attack from those wary of the beverage industry's influence.  That includes funding for clinical studiesto be submitted to peer-reviewed publications.

Let's see now, research into and prevention of childhood obesity . . . OK, lemme take a crack at this one:

My intensive field research over nine years of parenting is that many overweight children consume too much sugar. To prevent this, don't put Mountain Dew in your toddler's sippy cup. This message brought to you by Mountain Dew. WHERE'S MY TEN MILLION?

Bringing Local Produce to Lunch Lady Land

... there's growing support for the project from New Jersey farmers, who consider it another market for their fruits and vegetables. They consider turning their wares into wholesome processed foods with an extended shelf life as a new business worth trying, she said.

"When kids are in school, it's not the main harvest time," Holtaway said. "It extends the seasonality by a value added operation."

"It's basically almost like extending the season," state Department of Agriculture Secretary Douglas Fisher said of the Food to School program. "We have this (produce) glut in the summer when the kids aren't in school. As we move into the school year, (schools) start looking for other sources of food. Anything we can grow in our state that can be turned into something kid friendly and nutritionally appealing is good."

Rutgers and the state Department of Agriculture will fund the program with a $51,000 federal grant. New Jersey is one of 18 states to get the grant from the U.S. Department of Agriculture as part of the federal government's National School Lunch Program.

via www.nj.com

N.J., Rutgers to develop a plan to bring more locally-grown produce into the state's school cafeterias.
Look out, Pizza Dippers.

RELATED: Hoagies and grinders, hoagies and grinders

Peaches, and peaches

Two wildly unrelated things about the velveteen fruit today:

First, the New Jersey peaches are in full flush now, and with more than 100 varieties grown here, there's plenty to keep you cooking, canning and cobblering for weeks. This tree was picked this afternoon, a few hours after I snapped this.

 

This Sunday, you can feast on some peaches in their own neighborhood, at blueplate's Dinner in the Orchard event at Holtzhauser's farm here in Mullica Hill. Chef Jim's peach-centric menu will feature Flaming Fury and white donut varieties. Can I get a Yum? Yes, yes I can.

Regarding a peach of a very different kind: After much consideration, I've decided that the evolutionary point at which Lady Gaga went from Stefani Germanotta, dark-haired piano songstress, to platinum blond art freak had to come sometime during Peaches' 2006 tour.

Here's my report on Peaches' Nov. 25, 2006 show, from Phawker:

It warmed the cockles of me heart to see the way Peaches worked the Troc crowd into a sweaty horndog mess. It’s good for the kids to try new things.

She’s got a guitar stance like Gene Simmons, wide-legged and cocky, setting forth on the “Teaches of Peaches,” scaling the speakers and lap-dancing a few stoners up in the balcony. That was cool, but nothing I haven’t seen before. Where Peaches made me her bitch was when they brought out the bike — one of those ’70s chumpies with the banana seat and the big U-shaped handlebars. So hot.

Sounds a lot like a Lady Gaga thing, no? Well, it looked a lot like one, too, right down to the spewing blood. I'm not hating, I just think it's important to remember that before GaGa was bluffin' with her muffin, we were impeaching someone's bush. Like the song says, the girls wanna be her. (Video probably NSFW)

Peaches, "Boys Wanna Be Her"

Preheat deez

Jack, not waiting until the cookies are baked.

Because I don't go out on Saturday nights, either

Yesterday I cooked the IA Tribute feast, and it turned out really well. I made:

* antipast of roasted peppers, grilled zucchini, tomato/cucumber salad and shaved parmigiano-reggiano;

* grilled sirloin and Uncle Mikey's Grandmom Potatoes

* Cheesecake w/balsamic strawberry topping

I'm including the photo of the veggies on the grill in case any haters out there would think I'd actually buy roasted peppers at this time of year. Also, I've only recently begun making cheesecakes, which explains the too-browned graham cracker crust around the outside. The water bath method is a big fat pain in the arse, but the NY-style (high-then-low heat, then an hour in a cooling oven) method caramelizes the sugar in the crust too quickly. So I'll be switching methods permanently.

The only thing not shown is the little bowl of broccoli I made for Jack, and yes, he did put ketchup on his steak.

Also, I made a mix cd to listen to whilst cooking, including a lot of the songs and artists I've talked about here in blogville. If anyone would like a copy of it, or a recipe for anything, email me.

Barbeque, ranch, honey mustard or . . .

I'm no marketing expert, but this product needs a new name, stat.

Now we know what Shinehead's been doing for the last 15 years

Since Virginia Heffernan's defection from Slate last year, one of my main reasons for continuing to read it has been Seth Stevenson's Ad Report Card, in which he deconstructs TV spots.

This week's missive attempts to prove whether Skippy's new peanut butter ad campaign is, as many suspect, targeting stoners. Aside from the obvious -- the Rastafarian elephants and dance-hall reggae vibe -- he points out that the commercial often airs in the wee hours, on the Cartoon Network no less. (if you haven't seen the commercial, there's a link on the Slate article)