The last time around, when Mitt Romney was running for the GOP nomination in '07, I wrote about the Romney dude-posse for alt.campaign, a McClatchyDC project.
Enjoy. Also: MySpace!
The sons of Mitt are also keepers of the coveted top spots on Dad's MySpace profile, just behind the similarly easy-on-the-eyes Ann. These dudes, OK, OK, men, ranging in age from 37 to 26 are, as we say in the business, Very Much Not Ugly. Get them together and it's like Il Divo just crashed the party, except they're wearing khakis and speak perfect English.
All are united in their desire to see Dad in the White House, but in true boy-band style, they each fill a specific demographic:
- Tagg, 37, is a senior campaign adviser. Think: The Grownup. Likes: Hangin' w/the fam, Jack Johnson. Usually Seen: Making the rounds of the cable shows, giving the candidate the straight poop.
- Matt, 35, is in real estate. Think: The Cool Dad. Likes: Sports, The Shins. Usually Seen: Watching Napolean Dynamite with the shorties.
- Josh, 32, is a real estate developer who, we hear, was pretty cool in high school. Think: The Thinking Man's Man. Likes: Surfing, Coen Brothers movies. Usually Seen: Piloting the Mittmobile (a used Winnebago turned campaign bus), flexing distractingly square jaw.
- Ben, 29, is a med student. Think: The Smart One. Usually not seen, but blogs as often as he can, he swears!
- Craig, 26, just left his job as a music producer to work on the campaign. Think: The Duuuude. Likes: Hipster bands like Of Montreal and Sigur Ros, who make up most of his Top Friends. Usually Seen: Doing something "cool" and kinda "edgy," which we know because he wears a backward baseball cap.
I get this picture of them all rollin' in that Mittmobile, "Young Folks" blaring over the stereo, with the older ones up front driving, talking policy and wondering if they'll ever be able to "radiate vigor." Meanwhile, in the back, the younger guys are Twittering and teaching the nieces and nephews fart jokes. Expect some bored cubicle-bound jokester to issue a series of LOLRomneys featuring the guys any second now.
Now, these being clean-cut Mormon fellas — all married — don't look for anyTwins Gone Wild!-type headlines, like we had with Jenna and Barbara. ... Because we all know that the only thing more fun than gawking at American hotties of privilege is talking trash on their dysfunction — which is certainly there somewhere, waiting for the Internets to find.
****
Well, we know a lot more about the Romney family now, but outside of some not-far-in-the-past polygamy and obscene wealth, we still haven't seen all that much dysfunction -- oh, unless you count Tagg's desire to give Barack Obama a shot on the chops for beat his pop in a debate. At least he apologized.
