A story in the LA Times tells of a University of Georgia research project in which Kitty Cams -- which are exactly what they sound like, tiny video cameras strapped to the collars of house cats -- were used to document felines doing whatever the hell it is they do when they leave the house.
I KNOW, RIGHT?
The research seems to confirm what any cat owner knows already, that is, that our lovable furballs aren't just ignorant jerks who like to muscle their way onto the laptop keyboard while you're writing on deadline or hork up hairballs in the guest room. They're also pretty much violent, philandering assholes when outdoors, too:
Two thousand hours of footage later, the researchers say 44% of the cats went on attempted killing sprees and 85% engaged in dangerous behaviors such as crossing two lane streets and exploring tight spaces where they might get trapped. Perhaps most hurtfully, footage taken by four of the cats revealed that they keep a second family on the side.
I knew it!
Oliver, my trifling tuxedo cat, is known to disappear for days at a time, then arrive like a guilty spouse just back from a Las Vegas weekend. And when he shows up at the doorstep he isn't dirty and hungry -- just tired, really really tired -- leading me to long suspect he's been making time with someone else.
One of the most surprising things we witnessed was cats adopting a second set of owners. Four of our project kitties were recorded entering another household for food and/or affection!
On their site, you can watch a collection of Kitty Cam clips, with awesome names like "Finding Tasty Chex Mix" and "Climbing and Peeping."
Clearly I'm going to need a Kitty Cam, and a live web hookup -- I have the feeling The Oliver Channel would be huge. Though I suspect his video clips would come with NC-17 ratings and have titles like "I Killed A Bunny In Jersey Just To Watch Him Die" and "50 Shades of Oliver."
I caught this one in the social media streams of pal Gary Nielson.